Okay. This is post is dedicated to all the mothers out there with babies that don't sleep through the night. I would just like to say that I have been there and I SERIOUSLY know your pain. That was probably one of the shocks of motherhood that I had to experience, my thinking was all about how at 3 months she would just magically start sleeping through the night and granted she did, until we went to California for a month and because of the time difference she got thrown completely out of her schedule. So at 5 months I had a little girl who was nursing through the night and still waking up like 3 or 4 times. I tell you I cried and I cried and I let her cry.
Now if any body knows me well they will know that I am an avid researcher, book reader, find the best solution type of person. So naturally when Hinalei did not go to sleep I started to read books. Books about letting your baby cry it out, books about a SLLLOOOOWWW gradually approach to putting them to sleep in their crib. I should probably mention that it got to the point where Hinalei was sleeping in bed with us because she woke so dang often, I won't even tell you what that did to Joseph and I but if you are going through this you probably have a fair idea.
K so firstly I start with the cry it out method, I will tell you that I HATED every single second of hearing my little girl cry, I was sitting on the couch crying. SERIOUSLY and I hate to admit this but one night she cried for 2 hours!!! 2 HOURS!! I ran into the room and picked her up, it took so long to settle her down and I tell you I could see the physical pain in her eyes from doing that. I know that all the books say it will not affect them for the rest of there life but I could literally see the pain in her eyes as I tried to calm her down. Plus if you think I was shaken up you should have seen my poor husband as he listened to her cry. Trust me ladies your husband does not like to hear your child suffer one bit.
So then I read the books about the whole letting her fall ALMOST (I hate that word) asleep and put her in her crib, use these ridiculous keywords and pat her bottom and if it doesn't work take her back and repeat. Seriously as much as I liked the fact that I didn't have to have her cry after about 8 times in a row of letting her fall almost to sleep and putting her in crib and patting..... you get the idea not only was it 2 hours later but she was now wide awake and I was very frustrated.
K so after both of these methods which I will honest to goodness say I gave a fair go I was at 11 months with a baby that was still not sleeping through the night. Thank goodness for my mother who helped me wean her off of night time feedings while I was home for Christmas but nevertheless Hinalei was still waking at least 2 times a night even without feeding. I was so upset, I cried some more, I felt like a failure blah blah blah.
So I did the one thing I never did in the beginning, I got on my knees and I prayed my heart out, I prayed for a method that would work for Hinalei and I and I prayed that she would start to sleep through the night, take naps in the day without having to be rocked etc etc.... I prayed and I prayed each and every day to find out what to do.
After praying quite a bit I began to realize that although most of the books had opposite ideas on techniques there was DEFINITELY one thing that all the books had in common, that was the idea of a
ROUTINE. AHA!
ROUTINE. This is an actually process that is REPEATED consistently for days after days after days that creates a PATTERN or a SCHEDULE and I tell you what, children respond to schedules. Hinaleis was really really simple, Bath time, Diaper time, PJ time, lots and lots of snuggles time and song time and scriptures and prayers. Now of course some night we had things to do so I had to shorten it or some nights it would be extended. The one thing though is not the length it is the consistency!! The fact that your child comes to realize that each night something is taking place. Now I wish I could say that after doing the routine then I just popped her in her crib and off she went to sleep. No way. But after doing the routine I started to notice her sleepy cues, the eye rubbing, the constant grizzling, the wanting to be held and rocked. Also Hinalei has a comfort object which we call a woobie... it is a piece of silk she rubs on her face and it calms her down. She sleeps with this. Some babies need this comfort item so don't deny them.
K now the SLEEP METHOD to all of this writing madness. No for me and Hinalei what it came down to was
reassurance. Now I am not writing this to tell you to try this method, THIS is just what worked for us. After we would finish with all of the routine I would give Hinalei her woobie (her comfort item) and then I would place her in her crib. Then (and this is the idea that came to me after all the praying) I would lie down on my bed which is right next to her crib and pretend to also go to sleep. I would face towards her and keep one eye open slightly to watch and make sure but shut it if she looked at me. Now I am not going to profess that she then just layed down at once. She did cry but only A LITTLE! Yes she did cry but guess what not for 2 hours, 1 hour, 30 mins, she cried for like 10 mins! THE very first night we did this. And then I guess she realized I was asleep so she laid down and was out! I was able to then get up and have some quiet time to myself without the agony of 2 hours of crying.
What about her wakings in the night? She still woke up but I told Joe that he had to just continue to stay asleep, to not respond, again she would cry a LITTLE but after a few days I think what started to happen was she would realize that we were still in the bed sleeping and so she would lay back down and go back to sleep. After a couple of nights we stopped hearing the crying all together and she would just pop her head up then go back to sleep, now she doesn't even wake. This is what I mean by
REASSURANCE. She was reassured that we were still there and that she could continue sleeping. So the next day I did the same for her naps. I would put her down, lay on the bed and pretend to sleep, again a LITTLE bit of crying but then she was out. I continued to do this for a couple of days and the Little bit of crying got less and less. I started to then just place her in her crib, tell her it was sleep time and then sit on the bed and she would lay her head down and go to sleep. Now I don't even have to stay in the room. I just put her in bed and she lays down and out she goes. She sleeps twice a day and 11-12 hours at night. I can't even describe how wonderful it is to have her sleeping through the night or not have to share my bed or have hours of the day to do my own thing.
So to refresh if anyone is still reading:
1. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY for help. Heavenly Father knows exactly the way your child needs to be put to sleep.
2. A Consistent, Constant Routine is the first step
3. Watch for the tired signs - rubbing eyes, wanting to be held etc
4. Apply your own idea
5 .Don't be discouraged (If anything pray for the courage to do what the spirit is guiding you to do)
6. HOPEFULLY enjoy your sleeping child.
Delicious Hukilau Cafe
Hinalei in the backpack! Doesn't look really excited aye?
Having a break on the way
Joe and Hinalei having a rest. She still doesn't look very excited aye???
Playing in the sand. All Smiles.
Buried in the sand. Look of uncertainty.
Trying to get out. Definitely upset with the sand!
Playing on the shore with Dad. Stink picture aye?
Ending the day with Acai bowls from Kava Roots. YUM!!!
