So right now the heavy is real.
I am a parent to 5 children and currently this is my life.
Monday Rawiri was sick with vomiting.
Wednesday Hinalei had ballet and a choir performance.
Tuesday/Wednesday Talia has had conjunctivitis
Wednesday Joseph started vomiting to. Thats 4 out of 5 that have had it now.
Wednesday I made cinnamon rolls to sell so I could drive down to Taranaki to support the 1st birthday of my sisters twins because she moved 3 months ago but I need her to know we still have her back.
I was away from Talia for 4 hours to support Hinalei and her choir effort
Joseph vomited 2 times while I was gone and is warm to the touch.
I haven't made it to exercise because of my well children which means I have put them first over and over this week and missed my time to breathe, exercise and let it be about for an hour a day.
Sometimes the heavy is real.
I pray for my sister in law to get pregnant.
I worry for a different sister in law who is pregnant and has a 5 month old.
Collectively these are all small things but together they are heavy.
Do I wanna see Rawiri 5 heading off to school everyday 5 days a week. Yes! but No. I still can smell his baby smell and hear his cry and remember his dependance on me for the first 6 months of his life. I remember his 1st birthday which I way over did and then all of his subsequence McDonalds birthdays because that is what he asks for.
Tonight Talia sat up in her bath and splashed and there in my mind is the image of each of my five children reaching this milestone, sitting and splashing in the bath and now they are 8, 6, 5 and 3. Talia is six months but man is growing fast.
Lennie is using full sentences and is sassy as heck but still wants a dummy and cuddles and to steal snacks from the fridge.
Joseph hates being sick. He is so use to following a set of his own rules and sickness means he cannot control whats going on or whats happening. Everything just comes to a halt and he stares at me as if to say why?
Hinalei is so full of ambition and confidence and so I try to nurture that while ignoring the enormous strain it puts on our budget so that she knows we have her back.
All of this is heavy.
But it is a good heavy.
A grateful heavy.
A heavy I don't wanna trade because its my heavy.
So while it feels very real and full and heavy thats OK.
