I don't know how a 20 year old and a 23 year old thought that after knowing each other for 6 weeks that getting married would be a good idea. But we did and we decided and from then on we have made the decision to keep on going together. I cannot believe we celebrate 10 years of marriage tomorrow. I can still so clearly remember the first few days of marriage and that first year and then the first baby and so on and on until right now.
What have I learned?
1. Its not like a fairy tale - at all - but it is better
2. You can be 10 years in and still so poor!
3. Waiting until your married for sex is the best decision you can make - no seriously!
4. Honeymoons should not be expensive or include travel - seriously hotel rooms and food is all you need
5. You will sound and act like one of your parents when you fight
6. The saying "Don't go to bed angry" is kind of bullcrap for on some situations, you are probably just tired and in the morning realise it didn't actually matter
7. Men can fall to sleep irregardless of whether your fighting or not
8. Supporting each other means so many different things to so many different situations
9. Some of those men/women cliques are totally true
10. Date night at home is a thing and should be cherished
11. Getting your children in a routine is super vital to a marriage
12. Some years I need flowers and gifts and other years it ok that we do nothing
13. Holding hands and hugging and cuddling on the couch is still important
14. Fights can be ugly and you know exactly what makes them tick and choosing to use it to make yourself feel better is not cool - even if you are raging mad
15. Raising kids is a make or break you thing - communicate!
16. Money is a super struggle - try not to fight about it - set aside time and be open about it
17. Support each others hobbies and passions
18. Support time out and days of rest, sleep or doing nothing around the house
19. Pray together
20. Seek out each other first and share things with each other first - its what keeps you best friends
21. Learn each others love language and go out of your way to use it even if is awkward for you.
22. Say I love you when you leave
23. Don't take them for granted - their are solo parents out there doing the bath time, bedtime and clean up all by themselves
24. Talk about the hard stuff
25. Go to the temple together to do sealings so you can hear the words again
26. Support each other in church callings - try not to murmur about to many nights out
27. Share your failures
28. Accept compliments - they might stop if you always disregard them
29. Pray for your spouse - you know you're a handful sometimes
30. Love is way way cooler when it is deeper. Its like an unseen foundation that helps you realise you can depend on this person - to be your person.
31. Realise your spouse isn't in charge of making you happy - they are human and make mistakes. Give them grace, give yourself grace, give your marriage grace and know that God wants your marriage to succeed.
32. Realise that you both change over time, be ok with those changes (within boundaries) and realise you have changed too
33. Love your spouse and fall back in love with them as often as you can
34. Be open to trying new things in bed - its fun - or if not you don't have to do it again
35. Sometimes stuff sucks and leaning on each other and crying together is way better than laying blame and sleeping separately
36. Babies cry, toddlers scream and kids talk back - support each other through it all and take turns you both are tired or hungry.
37. Its not a competition to be right - it only makes for a dumb couple of hours/days
38. Don't bottle things up - it makes for dumb fights and mean words
39. Take time apart and listen to others share about their marriage - even one has stuff
40. Share cool marriage, child raising, love, friendship, quotes/articles with each other. You can both learn from it and maybe share unthought of insights.
41. Find favourite shows and enjoy them together - they are good for laundry folding or late night hang out times
42. Make out often!
43. Admit your wrong and apologise even if it grates against every fibre of your being
44. Have fun together!
Heres to 10 more years. Hopeful we come out of the next 10 years less poor than we are now - but we are rich in love and children!
Thank Joseph for an awesome Journey - can't wait to see where life takes us next
xx
