15 March 2019
Today was a normal day to start with.
I had errands to run and a dental appointment for 2 of girls at 11am.
I picked up Lennie at 2:30pm
I left for work at 3pm.
Then the new started to flood in.
Someone walked into a mosque in Christchurch and opened fire on people praying.
Then travelled to another one to do the same.
Senseless.
Tragic.
Tragedy.
49 dead - more to come.
Men, women...and children.
Today is not normal anymore.
Sending prayers to the families, individuals and also the Muslim community.
Tonight when I got home from work we locked our doors.
I checked on the kids.
We prayed for those affected.
Fairy Doors
I am currently addicted to a little event happening here in Auckland.
You go to different parks and reserves and find these gorgeous little fairy doors.
They are handpainted with a 3 digit code. Different areas have different ones you can find.
The kids love to see all the different doors to and we make it a race to find them and excited congratulate the person with the best seeker skills.
Some are extremely easy to find and some are extremely hard to find.
For me, it has given me the opportunity to exercise without thinking about it.
It has shown me 10+ new parks to take the kids to.
It has filled me up being outside, in the sun and feeling sweaty.
I have been neglecting my housework and some errands but I haven't felt this giddy about something for a while. The mundanity (while important) is hard sometimes.
Wake up, lunches, drop-offs, cleaning, tasks for home, shopping, tasks for church and then before you know it they are all home again and homework, dinner, extra stuff and bed comes around.
These little doors help me to think about early times in my life when I loved Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, dreamed about fairy tales and believed in the magic of tooth fairies and Santa.
I do believe in fairies.
You go to different parks and reserves and find these gorgeous little fairy doors.
They are handpainted with a 3 digit code. Different areas have different ones you can find.
The kids love to see all the different doors to and we make it a race to find them and excited congratulate the person with the best seeker skills.
Some are extremely easy to find and some are extremely hard to find.
For me, it has given me the opportunity to exercise without thinking about it.
It has shown me 10+ new parks to take the kids to.
It has filled me up being outside, in the sun and feeling sweaty.
I have been neglecting my housework and some errands but I haven't felt this giddy about something for a while. The mundanity (while important) is hard sometimes.
Wake up, lunches, drop-offs, cleaning, tasks for home, shopping, tasks for church and then before you know it they are all home again and homework, dinner, extra stuff and bed comes around.
These little doors help me to think about early times in my life when I loved Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, dreamed about fairy tales and believed in the magic of tooth fairies and Santa.
I do believe in fairies.
Adulting
Today started out really really normal. Normal as in what normally happens each morning. I make lunches, brush hair, drop kids off to school. Then I went and did some work for our small family business. Then my mum and I decided to go fairy door hunting which is a fun little activity here where we live. Someone has posted little fairy doors all over the neighbourhood and you can go and find them and write the numbers down. Unfortunately, at the first stop, I didn't see the door which resulted in us spending over an hour looking for it before we found it... oops. But we quickly found 6 more doors in less than 30 mins. It was a fun outdoor activity and really made me feel young at heart. After all the kid got home we were busy with homework which includes reading and math.
Rawiri brought home a chapter book. It was quite long and we took turns reading. The kids have been using a program called Mathletics to help them supplement school learning. I don't really understand how they are being taught in school because it is different from the simple ways I learned. I remember my dad having the exact same problem when he would teach me. I have always loved math and Rawiri and Joseph are happy to do the simple activities but Hinalei's is a little more complicated and so I have been working with her. Now she and I don't always see eye to eye but math is straight formulas and we managed to find a little bit of headway on fractions today.
Oh also as a side note Talia managed to remove the lid on one of our food storage containers and spilt the oats and milk powder all over the kitchen floor. I think she was making an indoor beach however the vacuum and I had other ideas for her little game. Last week she did the same thing to a bag of flour. I think I need to invest in those kid lock things - question mark (tongue poking out emoji).
Anyways tonight I had a Relief Society meeting and Ward Council. I am a Relief Society President of my ward. It is a big job - one I still feel overwhelmed constantly doing. Anyway, events happened that weren't that great however I chose to stand up for myself. I made a phone call and communicated and a resolute and restitution was achieved. I am 31 now and I am realizing that I have a voice, I can speak up, I can say something. I don't have to fear or wait for someone else to deal with it. I was terrified - please don't get me wrong but I felt deep down that this matter could actually be resolved without it blowing out of proportion and guess what - I learned something! My perspective was adjusted and I was able to feel empathy. My husband 100% supported my decision to act and I was really grateful he let me have a voice. I am learning a lot about myself since I have turned 30. It's like I am waking up and asking like 100 questions. I'm not a child, I'm not a young adult even and I have to start acting like the adult I am.
Rawiri brought home a chapter book. It was quite long and we took turns reading. The kids have been using a program called Mathletics to help them supplement school learning. I don't really understand how they are being taught in school because it is different from the simple ways I learned. I remember my dad having the exact same problem when he would teach me. I have always loved math and Rawiri and Joseph are happy to do the simple activities but Hinalei's is a little more complicated and so I have been working with her. Now she and I don't always see eye to eye but math is straight formulas and we managed to find a little bit of headway on fractions today.
Oh also as a side note Talia managed to remove the lid on one of our food storage containers and spilt the oats and milk powder all over the kitchen floor. I think she was making an indoor beach however the vacuum and I had other ideas for her little game. Last week she did the same thing to a bag of flour. I think I need to invest in those kid lock things - question mark (tongue poking out emoji).
Anyways tonight I had a Relief Society meeting and Ward Council. I am a Relief Society President of my ward. It is a big job - one I still feel overwhelmed constantly doing. Anyway, events happened that weren't that great however I chose to stand up for myself. I made a phone call and communicated and a resolute and restitution was achieved. I am 31 now and I am realizing that I have a voice, I can speak up, I can say something. I don't have to fear or wait for someone else to deal with it. I was terrified - please don't get me wrong but I felt deep down that this matter could actually be resolved without it blowing out of proportion and guess what - I learned something! My perspective was adjusted and I was able to feel empathy. My husband 100% supported my decision to act and I was really grateful he let me have a voice. I am learning a lot about myself since I have turned 30. It's like I am waking up and asking like 100 questions. I'm not a child, I'm not a young adult even and I have to start acting like the adult I am.
Hello March
It is March 2019. Joe and I just celebrated our 11 year anniversary. It is crazy even writing the words out. Us a couple of young kids have now successful navigated marriage for 11 years. I was 19 and he was 21. We met at BYUH university. He pushed canoes and I danced. It sounds so much more romantic now when I think back on it. We were children. No really I cannot believe how 'grown up' we thought we were making these big life decisions, but I am so grateful for it. I'm finally starting to appreciate and understand when people talk about starting from the bottom together.
Sometimes, many times we sit and plan for the future and talk about what we will do when this comes up or that comes up. Mostly we talk about giving ourselves grace because we are raising our five little ones... Not so little. 10, almost 8, almost 7, almost 5 and almost 2. The 10 and 8 are head scratching but the 5 and 2 we have been there. They don't scare us anymore. We can do temper tantrums without blinking and I can put overtired babies down and leave the room. No- it's the 10 and 8 that makes us question a lot. Make us try harder, be better and ultimately laugh over our statements about being kind to the oldest. Even as the oldest it is not always easy to give leeway.
This year I told Hinalei about sex. About how a man and woman make a baby. We talked about periods and body changes - both in men and women. We talked about modesty and WHY. I still remember the talks I had with my mum. It feels like a second ago and now I am teaching and helping my own daughter to learn about what is coming - what's next. She said it was gross and she wished she hadn't heard it but I can see she is matured, she is processing it - trying to frame it what her 10-year-old world.
I wish I was my 19-year-old positive self still. I struggle with it so much. Where did she go? I think it is the internet's fault. So much negativity, opinions and voices. 11 years ago Facebook was still unknown and I only cared about the opinion of friends I would see on a daily basis. Now I see opinions from someone in Texas influence someone in Perth, Australia. They will never meet. She will never have a conversation with her but she is allowed to say something. It is messed up and I don't think it is doing anyone any good.
I'm not ungrateful but I do wish (think) I would like somethings (read house) to be better or a full-time position. My husband has been a temporary employee for 6 months. That means no sick leave, no holidays, no annual leave. No time off for ballet or concerts or school assemblies. It's rough but thankfully it is a team effort. I miss seeing him sometimes because we are in a busy season of life now with our 5. I'm glad for the Gospel of Jesus Christ to still be in my life, our life. I can't imagine doing this marriage thing, children thing, one budget thing without Him. Last year the Youth Theme for our church had a song and one line was my favourite and I would sing it to myself over and over when the voices of the world were too loud "When theirs no peace on earth, there is peace in Christ!"
Sometimes, many times we sit and plan for the future and talk about what we will do when this comes up or that comes up. Mostly we talk about giving ourselves grace because we are raising our five little ones... Not so little. 10, almost 8, almost 7, almost 5 and almost 2. The 10 and 8 are head scratching but the 5 and 2 we have been there. They don't scare us anymore. We can do temper tantrums without blinking and I can put overtired babies down and leave the room. No- it's the 10 and 8 that makes us question a lot. Make us try harder, be better and ultimately laugh over our statements about being kind to the oldest. Even as the oldest it is not always easy to give leeway.
This year I told Hinalei about sex. About how a man and woman make a baby. We talked about periods and body changes - both in men and women. We talked about modesty and WHY. I still remember the talks I had with my mum. It feels like a second ago and now I am teaching and helping my own daughter to learn about what is coming - what's next. She said it was gross and she wished she hadn't heard it but I can see she is matured, she is processing it - trying to frame it what her 10-year-old world.
I wish I was my 19-year-old positive self still. I struggle with it so much. Where did she go? I think it is the internet's fault. So much negativity, opinions and voices. 11 years ago Facebook was still unknown and I only cared about the opinion of friends I would see on a daily basis. Now I see opinions from someone in Texas influence someone in Perth, Australia. They will never meet. She will never have a conversation with her but she is allowed to say something. It is messed up and I don't think it is doing anyone any good.
I'm not ungrateful but I do wish (think) I would like somethings (read house) to be better or a full-time position. My husband has been a temporary employee for 6 months. That means no sick leave, no holidays, no annual leave. No time off for ballet or concerts or school assemblies. It's rough but thankfully it is a team effort. I miss seeing him sometimes because we are in a busy season of life now with our 5. I'm glad for the Gospel of Jesus Christ to still be in my life, our life. I can't imagine doing this marriage thing, children thing, one budget thing without Him. Last year the Youth Theme for our church had a song and one line was my favourite and I would sing it to myself over and over when the voices of the world were too loud "When theirs no peace on earth, there is peace in Christ!"
November - Week of Thanksgiving
What is it about a gratitude holiday that has you doing so much reflecting and thinking? We are fast approaching the end of 2018 and to be honest I cannot wait to see the end of this year. I think as kids you would reflect on a year and be like "Oh this was the best year ever" and yet as an adult I am like "Man I hope I can forget this year" and yet a year is made up of 100 good moments as well as all the heavy chunky bad moments and without either you wouldn't be where you are right now.
Next year I will have:
A ten-year-old in her last year of primary school
An 8-year-old - baptism time
My 4th child will turn 5 and start school
My baby girl will turn 2 which means we will officially be out of the baby years - like forever
When talking to my currently nine-year-old I realized that she has been in my life for 1/3 of it. I mean that seems super crazy because I feel like I have done so so so much growing this year that it seems crazy I have children growing right alongside me. I guess I didn't think it would be this way, that I would still have so much growing to do while also doing the raising. One of my friends actually commented to me that her 30th year was one of her hardest and looking back now I feel like I 100% agree with her.
I didn't know that in 2018 we would face a redundancy. That was definitely one of the scary things we have ever gone through and really we are not out of the woods as my husband's temporary job finishes Dec 31st. How is that a way to finish 2018? By ending with no job. I really hope that changes in the next 48 days or so.
So I am here staring down the barrel of Christmas with children whose expectations are so very very high (I don't judge them - Christmas should be a little bit magic as a kid) and all I want to do is engulf myself in the part that is about Jesus Christ and the peace he brings. His peace is not the world's peace but he gives it. In his peace, I have felt reassured that he was mindful of us, that he is mindful of me and my worries. In his peace, I have felt love even on days of rejections or "No" from another job interview, in his peace I have felt his love carry me through budgeting and planning and scrimping and saving. Its also carried me through days when I really really just didn't even want to get out of bed.
So yes this week I am thankful - I am thankful I have made it this far, and through this year and that we have been blessed abundantly even through all the trials. I am grateful I am still growing and learning too.
Next year I will have:
A ten-year-old in her last year of primary school
An 8-year-old - baptism time
My 4th child will turn 5 and start school
My baby girl will turn 2 which means we will officially be out of the baby years - like forever
When talking to my currently nine-year-old I realized that she has been in my life for 1/3 of it. I mean that seems super crazy because I feel like I have done so so so much growing this year that it seems crazy I have children growing right alongside me. I guess I didn't think it would be this way, that I would still have so much growing to do while also doing the raising. One of my friends actually commented to me that her 30th year was one of her hardest and looking back now I feel like I 100% agree with her.
I didn't know that in 2018 we would face a redundancy. That was definitely one of the scary things we have ever gone through and really we are not out of the woods as my husband's temporary job finishes Dec 31st. How is that a way to finish 2018? By ending with no job. I really hope that changes in the next 48 days or so.
So I am here staring down the barrel of Christmas with children whose expectations are so very very high (I don't judge them - Christmas should be a little bit magic as a kid) and all I want to do is engulf myself in the part that is about Jesus Christ and the peace he brings. His peace is not the world's peace but he gives it. In his peace, I have felt reassured that he was mindful of us, that he is mindful of me and my worries. In his peace, I have felt love even on days of rejections or "No" from another job interview, in his peace I have felt his love carry me through budgeting and planning and scrimping and saving. Its also carried me through days when I really really just didn't even want to get out of bed.
So yes this week I am thankful - I am thankful I have made it this far, and through this year and that we have been blessed abundantly even through all the trials. I am grateful I am still growing and learning too.
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