Hinalei - my beautiful little girl came into the world this way:
At my 38 week appointment they checked me and I was 1cm dilated. I had read some stuff on line and we even took a birthing class (from Kahuku) and I was feeling really good about giving birth and had even calmed down a lot about a c-section because it seriously never crossed my mind that we would have to go to that. My dad always told me that I had the hips for having children. I seriously did not doubt that I would go into deliver my child and that I would push her out. It seemed out of the question especially in my mind. My water broke in church on February 8th. We went home, got our stuff together and started towards Castle hospital because that is what I had been told to do - you go in when your water breaks. Castles hospital is an hour away. I did not feel any contractions. I was scared, my mother was not scheduled to arrive for 7 more days and neither Joe nor I had ever dealt with having a baby before.
We arrived at the hospital. I had my birth plan and even though I had not started contractions I thought "Oh well my water broke" stuff is bound to start happening. Within 1 hour of arriving the nurses had hooked me up to pitocin to get the contractions started and I was seriously constricted to the bed. All I wanted to do was walk the hallways, I was in no pain whatsoever and I was still only a 1cm. They had to poke both of my hands before they finally got the IV in and it hurt so bad! I had a terrible night because I was completely anxious and still did not feel contractions like I saw on the movies or had been informed of in my birth class. Oh and they had to keep coming to readjust my baby heartbeat monitor because they couldn't pick her up. Not like I couldn't tell if she was suddenly not kicking or moving. By 8am the next morning I was a 2! A 2!
I was so tired! My OB came into check on me, she told me that they would have to put an internal monitor in for this baby because they were just not catching the contractions - Uh yeah because I can't walk around and no matter how many times I told the nurse I could feel the contractions in my back she kept the monitor on the top of my tummy. Again I was further restricted to the bed. At 4pm that afternoon she came to check on me and told me I was now a 3! She warned me - NOT informed me that I would have to either have a pretty big change like from a 3 -5 or they were going to have to do a C-section because the chance for infection after 24 hours was huge and could danger me and the baby - like it could kill my baby if I didn't go to a c-section.They also kept saying over and over that baby was probably too big (even though I was a mere 38 weeks) and that I had a small pelvic bone so baby could descend.
I was crying at this point, I felt like an utter failure - it is hard to think back on this experience without getting down on myself. By 5pm I was only like 4.5 dilated not good enough for my doctor. They told me I was better off to have a c-section. I cried some more but within 30 minutes they had wheeled me to the operating room, put the spinal epidural in and started the c-section. I cannot describe that experience except to say that NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE will ever forget what their birth experience is like and I can still remember to this day that while I was being cut open to bring my little girl into the world the 2 doctors operating were talking about golf. GOLF.
Hinalei was born at 5:24pm on February 9th. Not one of my birth plan wishes had been followed. Not a single one! I was in a recovery room for an hour before I was even able to hold my beautiful daughter. The bright light in all of this was that she was perfect. She was perfect in every way and for that I have always been grateful..... Oh yeah and she was 7.8 pounds.
I struggled for a long time after giving birth to come to terms mentally with what happened that day. In fact even as I count down to this little child being born I am still haunted by a lot of stuff. I have read so much over the past 2 years about L&D and I have come to the conclusion that doctors and sometimes nurses treat women like they have no idea how to deliver a baby and that if they don't listen to the doctors than they are stupid and their baby is going to die.
Facts I have learnt:
- I found out that 0.03% of women actually have pelvic bones to small to push a baby through.
- That c-sections are most common around 5pm and 10pm at night because it means the doctors can go home for dinner or to sleep at night instead of having to wait for a patient to give birth
- That 80% of women who have their water break before labor begins take at least 48 hours to begin having contractions spontaneously or regularly
- That of course laying on your back while trying to having a baby is the worst way to get anything going on
- That pitocin is not a good drug at all to use during labor because it can cause unnecessary stress on you and the baby
- And finally that the biggest contributor to infection comes from being checked so often to see if you have dilated. I was check 6-8 times in the course of 12 hours.
When they checked to see if my water broken with Hinalei the nurse put some yellow paper on my undies and wiped it around. It turned blue and that meant my water had broken. The other day I went to the hospital thinking my water had broken - they did not touch my underwear, instead they checked my girly bits and ran 2 other tests before confirming that my water had not actually broken. I should mention that when I thought my water broken with this little guy I decided to wait. I did not want to rush into the hospital. I read this amazing article which really helped to calm my mind. I waited 22 hours before going to the hospital to be evaluated. I did not have a single contraction in the entire 22 hours. Now of course I wonder what would have happened if I had waited with Hinalei. In fact from all the readings I did I discovered that most MIDWIVES will let their patients stay at home or wait before going to a birthing center at least 72 hours before they even suggest things like pitocin to let the women start to labor on her own. However most hospital or OBs have a 12 hour limit before they will put you on pitocin and even then you have to have progressed to at least a 5-6 within 24 hours to avoid them suggesting a c-section.
I guess all I am trying to say is that I am realizing more and more how much doctors and nurses don't think that women can actually birth a baby when in fact it is the one thing in this world that is most common and happens every single day almost as much as every second. We account for 50% of the worlds population and if you think about it birth is something that goes back all the way to Adam and Eve. How many other things can you say have stayed around that long?
If you stuck around you rock....... I really need to get that out, I need people to know that I hurt for a long time over not having a natural birth, still hurts so when or IF I get to have this little guy naturally please applaud me because it will be one of the greatest achievements of my life.
